This was never supposed to happen to me
During the college, I worked one summer in America and there I fell in love. I was happy. David moved to Slovakia for me and when I was 25, we got married. I believed this would be forever. Soon we moved back to USA, because his dad was diagnosed with cancer. I left everybody I knew behind. After a few months I missed my family, friends and my job. I needed his support more than ever. I proposed to move to a bigger city, where both of us, could find a job and where we could start a family. This is when the hell started. We could not agree on this. The sharp comments from David made me feel terribly sad and alone. After doing everything to please him, I felt hurt by such treatment. Years went by and the arguments were killing our love piece by piece. The idea of a divorce started creeping in like a ghost.
This was never supposed to happen to us. We thought we could fix this somehow. When the counselor asked, whether I wanted to be still married, I couldn’t honestly answer yes. On the day of our divorce he gave me the last kiss and I have never seen him again. I eventually started dating Richard. However, I was making the same mistake. I tried to prove myself and was fed up with being taken for granted. Only when the relationship was over, he suddenly wanted me desperately back.
Happily single, accept there was nobody to give me a hug
I was 32, frustrated and stuck. After all the bad experiences, I became scared to get hurt again. I still wanted to have a nice relationship, but I didn't realize I was sabotaging myself. Despite going occasionally out, I wasn't really open for a new relationship. I was living in the past and doubted my future.
I persuaded myself that I was happy to be single. However, when I saw couples holding hands, it made me feel sad. There was nobody to give me a hug. This was me, “happily single”on the LOVE bridge in Paris, how ironic.
I realized I was behaving like a “good girl”
One day I asked myself: “What am I doing wrong? Why other women get so much and I don’t?“ Eventually I realized I was behaving like a “good girl” while other women were more selfish. I decided to focus on becoming a more balanced woman. I studied techniques for deep levels of change, read self-improvement books and participated in training events.
Training in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) had a big impact on me. I started becoming more assertive and confident. I told myself I deserve the best and started treating myself that way. I noticed during this period, there was a sudden increase of men interested in dating me. The funniest story was with a man who left his restaurant meal unfinished and chased me on the street when I was practicing “Confidence with a smile” exercise*. However, I still wasn’t ready to start a new relationship. Something was holding me back. A friend shared her story, how she suddenly changed her love life.
I got curious and I started wondering whether my brain was sabotaging my efforts, as I learned from the neuroscience. Three months later I reached a state of mind where I was READY to date. I had a clear goal, motivation and the conviction it was possible.
*More about “Confidence with a smile exercise" can be found in my article HOW TO INCREASE YOUR SEXAPPEAL WITHOUT CHANGING YOUR BODY.
Men were fighting to impress me
I decided, this time I would choose the man, instead of being chosen. I was very popular and men were literally fighting to impress me. Within one month I met my future husband. It seemed like magic. Fast, effortless and fun! Today I enjoy his company, especialy when we make jokes together. For the first time I feel my man is really there for me.
Sharing my knowledge with others
I got inspired by this fast result and wanted to help others. I noticed it is not so much the practical things about dating that make a difference but the time before that. What takes the longest is to reach the READY state of mind. After that, the results come surprisingly fast.
In 2016 I wrote a book Mindful Diva Dating, where I described how to reach such state of mind and how to be a balanced woman that men are crazy for. One of the readers was my friend who never had a boyfriend. I guided her through a mental exercise after which she said with tears: “This was the closest I have ever felt to having a relationship.” She continued practicing feeling “as if” she had a boyfriend to connect with the right energy frequency. After 6 months, she was able to mentally close her past. Within a week, she met her first ever boyfriend. Two years later, she proudly introduced him, at my wedding party.
Through the discussions with my readers I realized that having all the information might still not be enough. The hardest part is to uncover and change the subconscious blockage. For that, people actually need to do the exercises, but most people don’t know how to do it alone. They just collect the information, without making an internal change. That’s why it takes so long to reach alone the READY state of mind.
I thought about how can I make it easier. The result will come much faster when people get guidance not only on the logical aspect, but especially support to overcome obstacles in the subconsciousness. That’s how I came up with an idea to offer workshops where I combine logic with integration exercises for subconsciousness, based on neuroscience. In 2018 I started developing “Dating Mindset Training”. Eventually I designed CREATIVE DATING LOOP, that simplifies the core steps.
CREATIVE DATING LOOP©
Would you like to chat about your situation? Don't leave your love life for a random chance. You can contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org or fill out the below form and I will come back to you to schedule a free 15 min consulation that fits both of our schedules. Looking forward to talking to you. :-) Michaela