NLP coaching
What is NLP: Neuro - linguistic programming?
NLP is scientific method that helps discover the deeply hidden subconscious obstacles, transform them and integrate back in your subconsciousness.
When you know ONLY LOGICALLY what is good for you, you often miss the power to take action. However, when ideas are INTEGRATED IN YOUR SUBCONSCIOUSNESS, you take action automatically.
Thanks to this method we can change how you feel about certain past events and change your automatic reactions in a variety of problematic situations. When your inner reality changes, people around you and circumstances also adjust in your accordingly.
For example, "suddenly" you start attracting interesting people who were unreachable for you before.
Which situations can be resolved with NLP?
There are hundreds of NLP models for different situations. I will mention a few. In case yours is not listed here, feel free to contact me and ask whether it can be also approached by this method.
- Preparing to find a good relationship
- Overcoming repeating relationship issues
- Gaining more confidence
- Recovering from loss or a break-up
- Overcoming codependency
- Developing self-love
- Inner conflict resolution
- Arguments and disagreements between people
- Reducing stress, becoming more resourceful
- Overcoming fear of public speaking
- Limiting beliefs about own skills and possibilities
- Knowing what you really want and power to go after it
- Childhood or other traumas
....and many more
How does our cooperation work
- Contact me at info@michaelaray.com to set up the free min 15 call or directly an introductory session. The introductory session has a special rate. It lasts 2 hours and costs 75 EUR instead of standard price 150 EUR.
- In the introductory session, we discuss your specific situation and set a roadmap towards your goal.
- Based on the intro session, you decide, whether this method is for you and you want to continue with private coaching.
- The following sessions last around 1.5-2 hours, depending on the topic you want to work on. We can meet in my office in Duffel or work online via Skype, FB messenger call...
- Price is 100 EUR / 60 min, (200 EUR / 120 min). The amount is paid after each session by a bank transfer.
- I usually work in cycles of 6 sessions - which is short enough to focus on your chosen topic and long enough to see the results achieved.
- The frequency of meeting depends on your preference, I recommend scheduling it between 2-4 weeks to have enough time to process the exercises as well as to keep the momentum going.
- After the cycle, we go over the results together. You decide whether you would like to work on the next goal or would prefer to stop.
What do people say about the private NLP coaching
I decided to explore "What is stopping me from doing what I want in my life." I got very fast result of unblocking myself. Within five sessions I got rid of limiting thoughts that caused me suffering.
For example; for years I had problems to speak in public or even in front of a group. I always felt some shame while thinking I am not good enough, I have nothing important to say, and other negative thoughts. After one session, where we worked around this shame feeling, I realized that suddenly I had no problem at all to speak in a group. I felt proud and exited to share who I am and what I want to set in the world with my business. Now it is so easy to spread my view, my words, my purpose. And it feels great!!!
Update one year later: Tine has her own business empowering women, she does regular public webinars, private coaching and she also met the man of her dreams.
I had a fear of leaving my comfort zone. After participating in the workshops I become more assertive, so I decided to go for the coaching as well. As a result I am now more convinced I am worthy and enough. The best part of the experience was going back to my earliest memories and being able to interpret them differently. I now understand my parents and I made peace with their actions.
Update after 6 evening workshops and 2 coaching sessions: When I look back at the beginning of the year, I see myself as somebody who was still quite unhappy. Someone who had major issues with her family; someone who felt insecure around other people.
I notice that I have changed. I tell people what I want. I put boundaries in place when necessary. I no longer act emotionally if people don't accept me. My friends say I am more assertive. I feel like I can soon start thinking about dating.
I started with the topic "What I want in a romantic relationship". As a result after five sessions: 1. I know what kind of man and relationship I want
2. I have more clarity about what I want in general from life
3. I am starting to define more my identity and learning to protect it
Setting boundaries helps me protect my energy better and I can use it for my goals. After years I felt inspired to create my web site and I feel proud of it. I realized I deserve to enjoy the money I earn and planned a trip I can look forward to. I started taking better care of my looks. It feels good and people notice it immediately. I feel I am becoming more authentic.
I've never had life coaching before, so was unsure of what it could bring me. I explored a change in career path. I got a clear idea of what I like, what would make me happy, bring me satisfaction and how I can go about taking steps to achieve it. I felt listened to, cared for and supported.
I'm looking for insights and palpable results and NLP feels like the right tool for me. Other methods I have tried like meditation and a short session of gestalt therapy, made me feel better but did not resonate with me as much as Michaela's sessions do. In the private coaching I decided to explore the feelings of inadequacy. As a result I understand where and how those feelings developed and I can start changing them.
Are you able to help me? Are you a therapist?
I am a certified NLP Master practitioner. I studied at the NLP University in California with one of the co-creators of NLP - Robert Dilts.
Since 2015 I have organized over 50 NLP workshops and developped NLP applications for dating and relationships. In private coaching my clients experience also NLP exercises comparable to Regression therapy. (topics like self acceptance, childhood traumas, ...)
From the "regression therapy" it became obvious that mental blocks originate in similar situations in childhood. I identified 7 pillars of self-confidence. After my daughter was born, I was thinking how to safely guide her through these areas. In 2021, I published a book about children's self-confidence in Slovakia (my home country), which became a national bestseller and soon after was translated to other languages.
While I don't call myself a therapist, thanks to NLP, I was able to assist people in topics like:
- Resolving inner conflicts and being able to move forward with life
- A 34 year old man from Brussels was able to finally start a relationship after he let go of the fear of being controlled and losing his freedom.
- A 40 year old woman from Mol moved to Switzerland, to follow her dream, after overcoming guilt and confusion.
- A 35 year old woman from Brussels realized that her attraction to "players" was caused by conflicting interests between freedom and relationship. She is now happy in a committed relationship. Update 18 months later - the proud parents just anouced the birth of their first son.
- Overcoming doubts about possibility to have a relationship
- A 28 year old woman from Leuven, who never had a relationship before was able to let go of her past and finally meet a partner, they are now 1.5 years together, planning their future.
- Transforming limiting beliefs about sex
- A 50 year old woman had a block against having sex, as it was something "wrong and shameful", now she feels in control of making her choices.
- Relief from anxiety after an expat moved to Belgium and felt very alone
- A 31 year old man was able to start seeing the light at the end of tunnel in comparison with 2 depressing months alone in Antwerpen. It helped him with faster integration and feeling of belonging.
- Transforming limiting beliefs about self worth, related to early childhood trauma
- A 51 year old woman from Antwerpen was able to see her early childhood in a different perspective. As a result she has more compassion for her parents and changed the conclusions about that experience - it wasn't really about her, so her identity doesn't have to hold this burden.
- A 30 year old woman from Germany had a similar experience as above. Before the exercise, spending a few days with her mother was guaranteed fight. After the exercise she was able to remain calm and compassionate, and only had some smaller exchange of opinion, despite spending 3 weeks together in one apartment.
- Transforming self judgement, self doubt and codependency on unsuitable relationships, related to shame
- A 48 year old woman from Antwerpen discovered that many of her limiting beliefs were (unreasonable) standards of other people imposed on her in childhood and that feelings of shame was keeping her stuck in self sabotaging behavior. After transforming the shame, she was able to set up her own standards. As a consequence a lot of anger and sadness was released from her body, allowing her to process these stuck emotions. She is now more aware of her own boundaries and not blindly pulled into unsuitable relationships.
- Transforming the feeling of being a victim through conflict resolution and forgivness process
- A 64 year old woman felt like a less worthy person and a victim next to another women who "stole" her boyfriend ten years ago. After the exercise she was able to see the other woman as a human with flaws, acting out of her weakness. This helped the 64 year old to no longer see herself as a victim but rather the more ethical person.
- A 45 year old man from Herent was able to discover his part of the responsibilty in the arguments with his ex-wife, which made him less angry at her, when he also understood her perspective.
- A 32 year man from Mol was able to see the bigger picture in an argument with his colleague, who was getting on his nerves. He realized they are trying to achieve the same goal, but with their completely different talents and point of views. They agreed with the manager to split their roles in this goal, so that they could both use their core talents.
- Reconnecting with lost love through grieving process
- This exercise helped me personally overcome many years long grief of a loss of my unborn child and the fear that it would never work again. I was able to finally meet the child in a virtual way. Before, I thought of it as the "poor little dead baby", but through this experience, I felt like the spirit of the child was ok and simly had other things to do. This was very emotional, but afterwards I felt a huge relief. The next month after the exercise, I became pregnant, despite being already 37.
- Same exercise on another occasion helped me keep the good memories related to my ex-husband close to my heart, without feeling sad about the divorce. We reached a point, where we are mutually at peace with each other. This contributed to having a clean start of my new relationship, without bringing old problems into it.
- A 48 your old woman from Antwerpen was grieving the loss of a dream - she never had children despite her desire to have them. She found a relief and unexpectingly reconnected with an inner part of herself, that feels beautiful, free to express self and happy to live in joy.
- Letting go of anger and setting up personal boundaries
- A 39 year old man from Brussels was always behaving like a "good boy", due to limiting beliefs (in order to keep love of important people). He felt trapped, helpless and frustrated, but never expressed his anger. Learning how to express anger in a safe place, helped him release some of the build up anger from many years, which reduced the feeling of helplessness. On the contrary, he felt more resolute and strong, by naming and expressing his emotions.
FOR WHO IS THE COACHING NOT SUITABLE
The coaching requires your commitment and energy in order to make a progress.
The exercises that have the fastest result and biggest impact on improving your life, are usually on the level of your identity. This also means, that you can have potentially a strong physical / mental reaction in the days after the exercise. For example having a temporary headache, back pain, stomach pain or intense anger or a need to cry out the grief, collected over time. This is not bad, it is part of the mental detox and a confirmation something major has shifted. Finally the stuck emotions can be released and stop causing you problems. Healthy and stable people can process this and feel a lot of relief and sense of progress afterwards.
However, for people who are unstable mentally or practically, this might be too much to handle and they might feel overwhelmed by the process. They might not have the energy or commitment that is required to go through.
In case you suffer from depression, psychosis, if you have recent suicidal thoughts or if your overall life is unstable or stuck in multiple aspects (such as having no job, lack of friends, major health problems, lack of reason to live, ...), then the coaching is not suitable for you. Instead, working with a psychotherapist would be a better choice.
Do you have questions?
In case you would like to know more, you can always contact me at info@michaelaray.com.
Alternatively just fill in the contact form below and I will be in touch with you. I look forward to discovering how I can help you on your journey. ;-)
