Let's talk about your situation and goals

Looking for life changes, new direction in career, relationship or overcoming losses and childhood traumas? Let's have a private, discrete talk about what you are looking for. 


WARNING: All good men are already taken!

couple 2.jpg

Ariane was hopeless and fed up: “I have looked everywhere, they simply don’t exist anymore. I doubt that investing more time into dating makes sense. I am better of single…” She complained that real men were extinct. According to her today’s men only want easy women who throw themselves at the guys.

She had several examples from her surrounding. She concluded ALL men were lazy, incapable and prefer to settle for a woman which they have to invest the least effort in.

Richard, who was also present at the discussion, became agitated and gave Ariane piece of his mind: “I don't find myself at all in the species you have described! Maybe you should reconsider what kind of people you spend time with!”

Ariane was so angry with the whole world… Seventeen years ago, the father of her child left them and she struggled ever since. It was easier for her to believe that “All good men were already taken”. That way she could focus on what was wrong with “them” and justify her sad life. What was really happening was the effect of “cracked glasses” and the effect of attraction at our own “energy level”.

The effect of the “Cracked glasses”

cracked glass.jpg

When people are freshly in love, they perceive everything beautiful and flawless. Even a rainy day seems magical. This is called the effect of pink glasses. It is a filter that makes people see only the good. Regardless of what anybody else thinks, for them, it is a reality. It has a direct effect on their happiness, ability to withstand stress and physical energy.

The effect of cracked glasses works similar. It is another type of filter. It shows what's wrong with people around us. People who choose this filter will see situations that confirm what they already believe. At the same time they will be blind to situations proving the opposite.

No matter what we believe, it is true. Our reality becomes just that. The effect of this filter is doubt about future, difficulties to let go of past and overall negativity and irritability. It is natural people with this filter will complain and say bad things about others.

Ariane experienced some losses or injustice during their life. She was “entitled” to be devastated when the father of her child shamelessly left them. However, seventeen years later it does not help her to be still devastated and angry, it doesn't bring anything good to her life.

We attract what we are - on the energy frequency level

angry couple.jpg

How is it possible that a genuinely good, caring and selfless woman repeatedly attract bad guys? Guys who don’t appreciate her, take advantage or even behave abusively?  

It seems contradicting a GOOD person attracting a BAD person. It sounds that the whole law of attraction thing is bogus. Yeah, it looks black and white, until we add category “energy frequency” to the picture.

Suddenly we see that the good woman, has a low opinion of herself, she is constantly trying to prove herself to be good enough and puts herself always last. Her energy frequency is quite low. The guys, she dates, mirror her and also put her last. She can honestly say they are BAD. After trying this ten times, she can logically conclude there are no good guys left, because she hasn’t met any. The solution is to increase her own energy frequency and deal with barriers that have been keeping it low.

Ariane has due to her negative outlook a low energy frequency. She hangs out with friends in similar frequency and sees how these men  treat women badly. This confirms to her that real men don't exist anymore. Do you see the vicious circle?

If you attract bad profiles, it says something about your current energy frequency, not about you being a good or a bad person. Energy frequency can be changed. Once you reach higher levels, you will automatically attract people who are also at higher levels. Then you will have a different experience on your dates.  

How to increase your energy frequency


During our life we encounter many challenges and things aren't always fair. We fall sometimes because we are just humans. The longer we remain crashed in a low energy state, the longer we are going to wait for a new opportunity. The sooner we bounce back from a setback, the sooner we get rewarded by unexpected good things.

Sometimes people fall really deep in crash when too many things change in life at the same time and destabilize the safety structures. In that case, try to stabilize your life first. Focus on your health, reducing stress, creating supportive networks, having stable income and some positive fun activities. If needed, reach out to a professional such as a doctor, psychologist or a coach. Don’t overwhelm yourself by adding too many goals at this time.

Once you feel stabilized, healthy and positive, you are ready for the growth stage. There are many educational books or programs that can support reaching your goals. Anybody actively engaging in self development is automatically increasing their energy frequency.

When you continue on this journey you become a new version of yourself. Others will recognize you as high quality, energizing, interesting  or simply fun to be around. Your choices of partners will increase and it is only a matter of time when you meet a “good one”. :-)

Taking a first step towards increasing your energy frequency

Start today by simply rating your current health, stability and happiness on a scale from 1 to 10.

Then write a list of 5 energizing activities and 5 energy drainers from your life. How much time do you spend on each one? How can you rearrange your time to do more energizing things and less draining things? How will this impact your health, feeling of stability and overall happiness?

If you have a question, you can contact me at info@michaelaray.com or leave a comment below.


Partner relationship

I was avoiding to think about dating because I was afraid it would make me long for it even more. The workshop helped me get reassurance and insight into what I want and confidence that I can get it. I particularly liked the combination of the exercises with an 'unconscious' integration - that makes it very powerful.

Update after 6 months: I am 2,5 months in a relationship that I enjoy very much. I am especcialy happy that we are both able to understand each other and communicate in a mature way. 

Update 2 years later: Engagement :-) 

Olivia Brussels
Public speaking

I decided to explore "What prevents me from doing what I want in life." I achieved a quick unblocking result. During six sessions, I got rid of the limiting thoughts that were causing me suffering. For years I had trouble speaking in public or in front of a group. I always felt shame, that I was not good enough, that I had nothing to say. After a session where we worked through this feeling of shame, I realized that I suddenly had no problem speaking in a group. I felt proud and excited to be able to share who I am and what I want to bring. Now it is easy to spread my opinion and my intention. And it feels great!!!

Update one year later: Tine has her own business, supports women, does public webinars and live events.

Tine, 48 Antwerpen
Boundaries and my identity

I started with the topic "What I want in a relationship". Results after five sessions: 1. I know what kind of man and what kind of relationship I want. 2. I am more clear about what I want from life in general. 3. I am starting to define my identity more and I am learning to protect it. Setting boundaries helps me better protect my energy and use it for my goals. After years I finally felt inspired to create a website and I'm proud of it. I realized that I deserved to enjoy the money I earned and planned a trip that I was looking forward to. I started taking better care of my appearance. It feels good and people noticed it right away. I feel that I am becoming more authentic.

Karin Fox Germany
Online dating

It took me a while to move to the “real dating“ since I first had to get into my zone. Now, I am able to choose between many men. Thanks to the book "Mindful Diva Dating" and extra training support, I am on track. Even better news, meanwhile Mr. Right appeared!

I am very glad Michaela taught me her system how to undertake dating with joy and laughter. One of the best decisions I made in a long time!

Denise, 60 Antwerpen


Looking for life changes, new direction in career, relationship or overcoming losses and traumas? Let's have a private, discrete talk about what you are looking for. 

Let's talk about your situation and goals

Looking for life changes, new direction in career, relationship or overcoming losses and traumas? Let's have a private, discrete talk about what you are looking for.